I am worried about the appearance of my vagina: I do not know if it is normal

If in a matter of genitalia the penis has traditionally been the object of analysis, due to its size, shape or color, the 21st century arrived with a new object of scrutiny: the vulva (no, it’s not called a vagina). The tyranny of the pink, symmetrical and “collected” vulva (and operated in many cases) has marked the norm in the collective ideology. But vulvas aren’t like that… and no one should make you feel bad about yours.

We say vagina… when we mean vulva

The first, and fundamental, thing is to make the concepts clear: we tend to name vagina to the female genitalia generically, but in reality the vagina is the inner part of said genitals.

The external part, what we see with the naked eye (opening the legs a little, yes) is The vulva. And it is precisely on this area that they fall, thanks to porn among other things, doubts, insecurities and criticism. How do you hear/read it? The color of the lips, if the labia minora stand out over the major ones or the size of the clitoris make each vulva unique (and wonderful), but they also become elements of rejection for those who (enough already) look for a specific model, that one that they have seen in porn. As if the unattainable models (at least not with health) that were already imposed on us at the bodily level were not enough, now it seems that our genitals also have to adhere to a canon.

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woman's face peeking through the hole in a pink cardboard

Barbie’s vulva

Yes, the most famous doll in the world (at least for the pre-millennial generation), did not have “detailed” genitalia, hence the wonderful thing about using this name to refer to the vulva model that has gradually been normalized.

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And it is that these vulvas that we are talking about, the ones that we see in porn, are “like very ideal” and “little varied”, as if they had been designed by a man and manufactured in series for the enjoyment of the staff: pink color, symmetry total on the lips, the labia majora cover the minor ones, the clitoral hood is small and slightly bulky, the clitoris is not too large… The acceptance of this type of vulva as normal has led many women to feel that their genitals “they are not normal”, that they are ugly and even unpleasant. And no, it’s not like that, what they are is real. In consultation I have seen women who had never considered that his genitals “could have something wrong” until one of his partners has “commented” on how “strange he thought the way was or directly showing rejection towards them or the refusal to perform oral sex on him for this reason.

Concern about the appearance of the vulva affects pleasure

As in everything that undermines our self-esteem, the idea that something as absolutely intimate (the most intimate thing in the universe, perhaps) as our vulva is can be unpleasant, the only thing it leads to is to feel bad. Worrying about the area and its appearance leads us to think about it in our sexual encounters… and even to avoid them for “fear” of showing it or the other person’s reaction. And if the head is focused on something that does not make us feel good and that, to make matters worse, is the center of the activity in question, it is very difficult to relax and enjoy.

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And since pleasure is not played with -except for pleasure- we are going to get rid of the single model once and for all and embrace, for our own good, the true normality, the one in which vulvas, like people, are of different sizes and shapes. Because Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans don’t look anything alike, but they’re both pretty cute, right?

dewy rose

your vulva is perfect

Yes, your vulva is stupendous, and it is because in addition to being the entrance to the vagina, in addition to being the “wrapping” of the hole to urinate, in addition to all that, the vulva, the labia majora, the minor labia, the clitoris… . They’re a absolute and total source of pleasure! And yes, we insist, there are many shapes, sizes and colors, look how good!

Colour: From a pale pink to a dark vermilion, passing through various browns, there are vulvas of various shades. Moreover, the labia majora usually have one color and the labia minora another.
(Asymmetry: that symmetry shown by “the vulvas that came from porn” (as if it were a 007 movie) is often due not to the power of genes but to the skill of surgeons. Typically, the left lip has one size and the right another.
Size: there are women who have a fleshy vulva, the “plumpy” mound of venus and others who have less, there are vulvas with generous and fleshy lips and others with thin and very smooth lips.
Shape: there are vulvas in which the labia majora cover and hide the minor ones, and vulvas in which the labia minora protrude a lot. The clitoris: what we see of the clitoris is only the tip of the iceberg, since within our body this wonderful organ whose only function is pleasure, It can measure up to 11 or 12 centimeters.. The external part, as I said, is the glans of the clitoris, and there are women who have it smaller and women who have it larger, especially when they are excited and, as happens with men, it becomes erect (increases of size). As you can see, there are vulvas of a thousand shapes and models, and all of them They are normal and wonderful. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

When should we be concerned about the appearance of our vulva?

Sexual health is fundamental, and the care of our genitals is something that we should never neglect. It is not the canon that should concern us, but health.

No, these six things your vagina does not need (as much as they tell you they are healthy)

Special attention, and visit the specialist, if:

itching: if it itches a lot, a lot, if you notice that your labia minora are very sensitive and when you scratch you even feel some pleasure… followed by intense discomfort, it is very possible that you have an infection. Candida (candidiasis) is responsible in many cases for these itches. You have a lump: On many occasions, a small hair gets stuck in the skin, which is colloquially known as an ingrown hair (vulvar folliculitis) and forms a bump that can be quite painful. If this is your case, please, do not try to remove the hair and leave the eyebrow tweezers (and those undesirable furtive hairs that come out on the chin), you will only get hurt and infected.
change in smell: Strictly speaking, the change in smell is due to a change in discharge and an infection of the vagina, but it is always good to remember it so that we keep it in mind. The “normal”, what we find in real life, are vaginas of various shapes, sizes and colors, there is variability, so that it was complex, because no, you are not a Barbie… nor do you want to be: with your real vulva you enjoy more! Images | pixabay.com

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